Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Saturday, 4 January 2014
What the fuck is Privilege?
Privilege.
If you've spent any time whatsoever around the feminist movement, you will have been told about privilege. Whether you wanted to know what it was or not, you will have been told.
I've been told. I've been told about it many times, and it pisses me off. In the context of most arguments (whether it be regarding rape culture or the general patriarchal nature of modern society) it is insulting to both parties.
If I think about the word itself, I'm reminded of our family. Our family, like many from around Yorkshire, comes from a background consisting almost entirely out of miners. Every man older than 60 in my family has at some point worked "darn pit", and I'm sure it's the same for many others.
The 70's and 80's were a strange time for many families in Britain... for a while after the war, with the formation of the NHS and what the tories would call "big society", we were a happy and involved nation that cared for each other. The toffs and fox hunters in the country side were still richer than those working their fields, but they had cared for the families children during the Blitz or fought on the frontlines to defend the same ideals; people came together and for a while, the social classes ebbed away.
With the cultural revolution of the 50's and 60's out of the way, the country was descending into shit once more. The ease of import and export meant that many businesses were starting to close and move abroad, bankers were choosing to spend money cautiously in the states, and we were left to pick up the pieces with a government that wasn't up to scratch. By the 90's, Britain had lost it's industrial heritage, and we still struggle with the repercussions of that to this day.
See, I wrote all that from memory. I wasn't there back then, and I'm sure people who were will have a very different version of events, but this is the version I was told. This is the history I was brought up with, and that is exactly my point; the world looks very different from different perspectives.
That is privilege. Privilege is seeing the world as being noticeably better for others with no means to attain it. Privilege implies a class of control that people willingly hold over others.
Privilege is holding enough power to make you blind to the suffering of others.
In a word, having privilege makes you a bit of a cunt.
This is all my opinion of course, none of this rings true for a lot of people and on the subject of Feminism the word is generally used correctly (grammatically, at least). My problem with the word comes entirely from growing up in a working class family, hearing the word being used to describe arrogant tossers who couldn't give a damn fuck about anything but power and money; politicians, tax men, bankers... the privileged were the enemy. They were the people you fought against to reclaim your freedom.
To me, privilege in feminism denotes the idea that women should be fighting men for their freedoms, that somehow the current generation of men are to blame for the way that society treats women.
This is bollocks. Feminism isn't taken seriously by a lot of men because there are too many women who think this is true, the "feminazis" who decide that all men are evil just for having a dick.
Articles like the one below show the opinions of a deranged fucking idiot with no modicum of common sense, but it only takes a few with opinions like those to colour the perception of the subject for everyone
http://witchwind.wordpress.com/
All men are not to blame for all women's problems. That is narrow minded beyond belief; a lot of men don't particularly like living in current society either and men certainly have problems to deal with as well. For every woman jealous of a female model advertising shampoo, there's a man feeling wholly emasculated after looking at a picture of a man advertising protein shakes - women are taught to appear attractive to men by fitting in to a specific stereotype, and men are taught to appear attractive to women by doing the same thing.
This isn't an alien concept, but to many you would think it is. Women mock men for being something, men mock women for being something, women mock women for being something, men mock men for being something. We are all utter cunts to each other for a variety of reasons and all regardless of gender.
I hope this speaks to a lot of people, and points to the fact that neither sex is necessarily superior to the other, and in some ways men have it harder than women.
I hope people read that last part and didn't jump to conclusions, because of course I still consider myself a feminist. I consider myself a feminist because I want to ensure that women are treated equally to men in society; they should receive the same wages, the same rights, the same standing on the social ladder and above all be treated with respect as "People" rather than "Women".
Since all men aren't responsible for granting this clearly realistic and deserved target, I don't think it right that men be put on a pedestal as being "more privileged" than women.
I probably haven't explained this perfectly, because it comes from a personal place rather than a place grounded by sound reasoning, but the word just pisses me off. There are so many other words out there that could be used to describe the reality of gender equality... words such as...
PERFECT! We've found the word. In a particular way, men hold the appurtenances of control and power over women, but all men are not directly responsible for this.
Or...
As in "The male trappings of having a statistically lower number of rape victims"
As in "The accoutrements of having far more men in power in the developed world than women, meaning that democratic society doesn't actually have a representative choice of potential candidates when voting, alienating many women meaning they are less likely to vote at all"
As in "The convenience of having to bleed from the uterus once a month, while writhing in agony attempting to eat your bodyweight in chocolate and ibuprofen." (Deny it if you wish...)
If you've spent any time whatsoever around the feminist movement, you will have been told about privilege. Whether you wanted to know what it was or not, you will have been told.
I've been told. I've been told about it many times, and it pisses me off. In the context of most arguments (whether it be regarding rape culture or the general patriarchal nature of modern society) it is insulting to both parties.
If I think about the word itself, I'm reminded of our family. Our family, like many from around Yorkshire, comes from a background consisting almost entirely out of miners. Every man older than 60 in my family has at some point worked "darn pit", and I'm sure it's the same for many others.
The 70's and 80's were a strange time for many families in Britain... for a while after the war, with the formation of the NHS and what the tories would call "big society", we were a happy and involved nation that cared for each other. The toffs and fox hunters in the country side were still richer than those working their fields, but they had cared for the families children during the Blitz or fought on the frontlines to defend the same ideals; people came together and for a while, the social classes ebbed away.
With the cultural revolution of the 50's and 60's out of the way, the country was descending into shit once more. The ease of import and export meant that many businesses were starting to close and move abroad, bankers were choosing to spend money cautiously in the states, and we were left to pick up the pieces with a government that wasn't up to scratch. By the 90's, Britain had lost it's industrial heritage, and we still struggle with the repercussions of that to this day.
See, I wrote all that from memory. I wasn't there back then, and I'm sure people who were will have a very different version of events, but this is the version I was told. This is the history I was brought up with, and that is exactly my point; the world looks very different from different perspectives.
That is privilege. Privilege is seeing the world as being noticeably better for others with no means to attain it. Privilege implies a class of control that people willingly hold over others.
Privilege is holding enough power to make you blind to the suffering of others.
In a word, having privilege makes you a bit of a cunt.
This is all my opinion of course, none of this rings true for a lot of people and on the subject of Feminism the word is generally used correctly (grammatically, at least). My problem with the word comes entirely from growing up in a working class family, hearing the word being used to describe arrogant tossers who couldn't give a damn fuck about anything but power and money; politicians, tax men, bankers... the privileged were the enemy. They were the people you fought against to reclaim your freedom.
To me, privilege in feminism denotes the idea that women should be fighting men for their freedoms, that somehow the current generation of men are to blame for the way that society treats women.
This is bollocks. Feminism isn't taken seriously by a lot of men because there are too many women who think this is true, the "feminazis" who decide that all men are evil just for having a dick.
Articles like the one below show the opinions of a deranged fucking idiot with no modicum of common sense, but it only takes a few with opinions like those to colour the perception of the subject for everyone
http://witchwind.wordpress.com/
All men are not to blame for all women's problems. That is narrow minded beyond belief; a lot of men don't particularly like living in current society either and men certainly have problems to deal with as well. For every woman jealous of a female model advertising shampoo, there's a man feeling wholly emasculated after looking at a picture of a man advertising protein shakes - women are taught to appear attractive to men by fitting in to a specific stereotype, and men are taught to appear attractive to women by doing the same thing.
This isn't an alien concept, but to many you would think it is. Women mock men for being something, men mock women for being something, women mock women for being something, men mock men for being something. We are all utter cunts to each other for a variety of reasons and all regardless of gender.
I hope this speaks to a lot of people, and points to the fact that neither sex is necessarily superior to the other, and in some ways men have it harder than women.
I hope people read that last part and didn't jump to conclusions, because of course I still consider myself a feminist. I consider myself a feminist because I want to ensure that women are treated equally to men in society; they should receive the same wages, the same rights, the same standing on the social ladder and above all be treated with respect as "People" rather than "Women".
Since all men aren't responsible for granting this clearly realistic and deserved target, I don't think it right that men be put on a pedestal as being "more privileged" than women.
I probably haven't explained this perfectly, because it comes from a personal place rather than a place grounded by sound reasoning, but the word just pisses me off. There are so many other words out there that could be used to describe the reality of gender equality... words such as...
appurtenance
noun
- 1.an accessory or other item associated with a particular activity or style of living."the appurtenances of consumer culture"
Or...
trappings
noun
- 1.the outward signs, features, or objects associated with a particular situation, role, or job."I had the trappings of success"
As in "The male trappings of having a statistically lower number of rape victims"
accoutrement
noun
- 1.an additional item of dress or equipment."the accoutrements of religious ritual"
As in "The accoutrements of having far more men in power in the developed world than women, meaning that democratic society doesn't actually have a representative choice of potential candidates when voting, alienating many women meaning they are less likely to vote at all"
convenience
noun
- 1.the state of being able to proceed with something without difficulty.
As in "The convenience of having to bleed from the uterus once a month, while writhing in agony attempting to eat your bodyweight in chocolate and ibuprofen." (Deny it if you wish...)
comfort
noun
- 1.a state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.
As in "The comfort of never having to give birth"
vagina
noun
- 1.the muscular tube leading from the external genitals to the cervix of the uterus in women and most female mammals.
As in, "The vagina of having to put up with sexual advances from your boss for fear of reprisal"
Okay, I was pushing it with the last one, but the rest are all fairly decent right? I may not have used them perfectly, but the idea is there!
Okay, I was pushing it with the last one, but the rest are all fairly decent right? I may not have used them perfectly, but the idea is there!
Wednesday, 11 December 2013
Sunday, 24 November 2013
Bodies
Women, as portrayed in the media, come in very few shapes and sizes.
The first is the catwalk model. "Heroin Chic" is a term you hear a lot of in this area, women are as thin as humanly possible and eating disorders are generally encouraged.
The second is the "Page 3" model... all that matters here is the size of the chest.
The third is in video games, which portray women of shapes that simply do not exist in nature, with strangely extended torsos and overly accentuated curves that look like no woman in the world. This is not an oversight of the designer; this is intentional. Technology has allowed for the accurate representation of males but apparently not females.
There is only one industry that features women in all possible shapes and sizes, and provides a more accurate view of what the female body looks like. That is the world of amateur porn. The market that has, in recent years, almost put the professional porn industry out of business as the market is slowly swamped with more and more home-made videos of couples boning each other.
But this is the worry for me. The overly sexualised and "idealised" view of women as portrayed in the media fulfills a very small group of shapes that women can have. Porn features them all.
Why, when we attempt to sexualise women for the market that is safe for viewing on your TV or console at home, do we censor more than just the nudity?
Why do we censor the women themselves, leaving only people who fit into the accepted norm?
Why does porn have to represent the widest range of possible female shapes in the televised market?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is...
When did the most accurate portrayal of women's bodies in the media go underground?
The first is the catwalk model. "Heroin Chic" is a term you hear a lot of in this area, women are as thin as humanly possible and eating disorders are generally encouraged.
The second is the "Page 3" model... all that matters here is the size of the chest.
The third is in video games, which portray women of shapes that simply do not exist in nature, with strangely extended torsos and overly accentuated curves that look like no woman in the world. This is not an oversight of the designer; this is intentional. Technology has allowed for the accurate representation of males but apparently not females.
There is only one industry that features women in all possible shapes and sizes, and provides a more accurate view of what the female body looks like. That is the world of amateur porn. The market that has, in recent years, almost put the professional porn industry out of business as the market is slowly swamped with more and more home-made videos of couples boning each other.
But this is the worry for me. The overly sexualised and "idealised" view of women as portrayed in the media fulfills a very small group of shapes that women can have. Porn features them all.
Why, when we attempt to sexualise women for the market that is safe for viewing on your TV or console at home, do we censor more than just the nudity?
Why do we censor the women themselves, leaving only people who fit into the accepted norm?
Why does porn have to represent the widest range of possible female shapes in the televised market?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is...
When did the most accurate portrayal of women's bodies in the media go underground?
Saturday, 16 November 2013
WWIS - What the fuck am I?
Some of you may be aware of the "What Would I Say?" Facebook app.
http://what-would-i-say.com/
This lovely gizmo creates a fake status by analysing a portion of the comments and statuses you've posted in the past.
As you can imagine, for most people at least, this can be rather funny. For me however, it is a window on to my very soul. Thanks to the wide range of shite I post on Facebook on a daily basis, there is a nice repertoire for the app to choose from. To that end, here are some of my favourites. Enjoy:
And of course my personal favourite "An exercise in their sadistic nazi strapon porn".
This confirms my suspicion that I should be locked up and forgotten about forever. Think you can do better? Post in the comments below...
http://what-would-i-say.com/
This lovely gizmo creates a fake status by analysing a portion of the comments and statuses you've posted in the past.
As you can imagine, for most people at least, this can be rather funny. For me however, it is a window on to my very soul. Thanks to the wide range of shite I post on Facebook on a daily basis, there is a nice repertoire for the app to choose from. To that end, here are some of my favourites. Enjoy:
- The best fucking shite
- fuck it, you
- Dick party at mine
- That is the fuck
- pfft zombies are utter cockjesters
- ahh i think years of excessive masturbation aid in it
- Call someone a Cunt
- XP has fucking AIDS now.
- i already own a fucking knife. Sit back
- STOP TAKING SHIT
- Bestiality, drug dealer...
- I don't go through the outbreak of Cunt
- Smoke a blunt, slap a bitch.
- PHYSICS. STARS, CUNT!
- Police do yourselves a retard
- a bit of Largest Phallus in public
- It's already a massive bift then
- I don't particularly give a superman fan
- its probably just generally a horrible place to wipe them
- i'll teabag his fucking rectum
- thank him with various power tools
- This status is forced to shoot jews from a fucking spastic for people
- Seeing everyone in a quiet voice exclaimed Ahhh... Bisto.
- a bit shit
- The best presenter by a blue whale spunks in his INTRO MAN
- It was an excuse to make a chocolate cake you're a fucking spastic
- its probably caught masturbating over trolls nowadays
- It's already a shithole.
- For those over the outbreak of velcro at the shadows and fuck
- 2 cunts with them.
- I don't recall mentioning anything regarding my blood everywhere.
- Jesus fucking expensive shit
- glue sandpaper to a facebookwide masturbation aid in a truly great storm, i can regulate it
- You're gunna turn dem fuckas into pin cushions
- Its portrayal of blacks is fun
- A fart followed by a sloshing sound in the budget ran out through his cock
- i'll teabag his torn corpse.
- A novice at being angry if anyone is low-res boob shots a quick google took on China's Censorship skeletor
- Everything he touches turns to cheaper speaker reviews on it
And of course my personal favourite "An exercise in their sadistic nazi strapon porn".
This confirms my suspicion that I should be locked up and forgotten about forever. Think you can do better? Post in the comments below...
Thursday, 14 November 2013
The 10 signs of emasculation, written by a scrote-joker.
This article annoyed me in a lot of ways and I thought it was only fair I give it my customary going over:
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-things-women-do-to-emasculate-men.html
Take a moment to read it through and take in everything that is being said.
If you woke up with a dick this morning, you probably laughed at most of this. If you don't have a dick, you're probably a little insulted by most of this. Let's analyse both sides and see which one is a valid response (hint: look at the title)
"women will forever have the upper hand in the psychological stakes because, over time, they’ve developed and refined numerous tactics to hit men where it hurts most -- the ego."
Well, lets kick it off with this piece of "knowledge".
Okay, granted this point does hold a little weight; women have indeed developed certain tactics that they can use to hit men where it hurts... but men have developed the same skills. Every "playa" out there has used their tactics to get women into bed, every cheater has lied about his escapades, every guy who's into anal has pretended to slip it in the wrong hole (THAT'S A VALID TACTIC.)
I don't get the issue with men and their supposed Ego problems, possibly because I'm not an overly macho blokey bloke. I have an Ego and it is gigantic, but it's like my faith; untouchable by anyone else because it is mine and I am fantastic.
If you meet a man with an ego like mine, you can pretty much say what you like about me; it won't make me feel any different, I'll just think you're a cunt and then carry on being awesome.
So that's the intro out of the way, let's get down to analyzing each point one by one to outline why the author is a Bell.
10 - Making a Point
"Most of the time, the actions and comments of a woman are delivered with good intentions, designed to help us become better men.
Nevertheless, while they believe they’re sharing their pearls of wisdom for our betterment, some struggle to understand that phrases like, “You desperately need a haircut,” “There is no way you’re still a medium,” and “Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” are best left behind closed doors; not at the dinner table – with your parents – at Christmas."
What shitty romantic comedy was this guy watching when he wrote this bit?
I'll just quickly give my own response to these remarks:
“You desperately need a haircut” - No I don't. My head will be cold.
“There is no way you’re still a medium,” - Fuck you, i wouldn't call you fat.
“Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” - Yes, and i used it to set fire to things, it's what men do.
Its nice to know that women have nothing better to do at the Christmas table than complain entirely about your appearance. I don't buy this for one minute. If your girlfriend speaks to you like that, she's either worried about your health (you fat fuck) or she's just nagging you for the sake of it. Either way, its not emasculation, she's just being an annoying shit.
9 - Offering Up Their Car
"For whatever reason, your regular ride is at the garage and your lovely lady tosses you her keys with an angelic smile and says, “Just take my car.”
On the surface this may seem like a kind gesture, but what she knows (and you don’t) is that as you cruise along the high street in her electric blue Renault Clio (complete with fluffy pink seat covers) there is no chance any woman will look twice. "
Okay, glossing over the obviously moronic gender stereotype of fluffy pink seat covers (which are vile regardless of gender), why would a man in a relationship be interested in being looked at by other women? Why should it be a problem that women won't "look twice"?
This is the kind of moronic bullshit written by a man who isn't comfortable in his own sexuality to the point that he needs to be ogled by at least 5 women a day to feel like he's getting somewhere in life. Oh, is that an unfair assumption? So are pink fucking seat covers.
Taking a moment out of my typical feminist stance here for a moment, how many men out there feel so emasculated by their girlfriend that they spend any time at all wondering how attractive they are to other women? Here's a tip, if you feel emasculated by your girlfriend/wife, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Feminism doesn't diminish a man's rights to be upset if he doesn't feel worthy of being a boyfriend.
8 - Faking It
"Every man, no matter how modest, likes to feel as if he is a modern-day Don Juan. And nothing brings that castle of confidence crashing down faster than three dreaded words: “I faked it.”
The motivations for her raising this humiliating issue are often varied, but one thing is for sure -- if any criticism can make a grown man want to build a tree fort and hide away, it’s that! If you can’t beat them, join them. Next time, why not fake remembering her birthday. "
The only time i can imagine any woman telling her boyfriend she faked it is if the boyfriend did something really fucking bad (shame on you, bastard).
Imagine for a moment that you're being tossed off by your girlfriend and it feels like she's about to snap your banjo... you'd say something right? How about if you knew you'd be waiting hours to finish if you didn't point her in the right direction? You'd say something yeah? No? Fuck you.
The point is, if she says "I faked it" in a "lets talk" kind of way, chances are she just wants to make the sex better for both of you. That's not emasculating, that's thoughtful. She's saying something because if you do it properly, you will know you've done it properly.
She's trying to rejuvenate your sex life so that you BOTH enjoy it. If all you can think at that point is "well i was enjoying it, why can't she just enjoy it", go and buy a box of Kleenex and move on, you selfish idiot.
Finally, comparing this to purposely neglecting your woman's birthday isn't even worthy of making fun out of. The amount of selfish, childish "I WANT" in this sentiment is humour enough.
7 - Fixing Things For You
"When you were just starting secondary, onlookers in the street probably smiled as your Dad tucked your shirt in before you bolted excitedly into the playground. That was then. This is now.
Watching a grown man have his tie straightened or pants hitched up in public is not just awkward for the fella in question, it’s out-and-out embarrassing for witnesses within a 50-metre radius. "
If you're a grown man who NEEDS to have his pants hitched up and tie straightened by his girlfriend, you're the one with the problem. You're a grown man who can't figure out a tie! You're a grown man who doesn't know how to put trousers on properly, you fucking sponge.
Also, if you were one of the onlookers watching from the 50 metre radius because you thought she was about to take my trousers off, i deeply apologise for wasting your time.
The title of this section actually has more worrying implications but as the author didn't mention them specifically, I'll let them slide (but you were thinking them weren't you, you misogynistic tit).
6 - Death By Shopping
"The husband/boyfriend “courtesy” seat can be found inside almost all female fashion boutiques. Whilst this spongy ottoman may appear conveniently placed, it’s really the human equivalent of a street pole where dogs are bound by their leash. Once directed to “just sit down”, you become like a guppy in a fishbowl. For the record, that stinging sensation is the eyes of every other female in the store, gawking at you, impressed with how well you’ve learned the “sit” command. "
Diddums.
You're actually required to do something that makes her happy for a change.
Fucking. Diddums.
You're not bound by a leash. If you hate it that fucking much, walk away. If you love her enough (and you fucking should), put up with it to make her happy; it's not all about you. Oh and no other woman in the room is impressed by how well you've learned to sit on command, they're gawking at you because you've got a look on your face like a 10 year old who's just been scolded for eating too many sweets. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and give your lady some time to enjoy herself.
This is one of the classic situations that never actually happens. If you've been shopping with your girlfriend once and behaved like a spoilt child, your girlfriend will likely choose to never go with you again. And she'd be right to do that, you fucking cock-jester.
5 - Handing Over The Purse
"Worryingly, this tactic is employed on a daily basis in shopping centres around the country. Preceded only by a swift, almost inaudible, “Hold this for me for just a second, babe,” the poor schmuck swivels around just in time to be greeted by a mini-suitcase being shoved into his midsection. Nothing shouts “muppet" more than a dude with a defeated look on his face and a Dior tucked under his arm."
Okay what the fuck, this is just convenience right? She's handing you some shit because she has too much shit to hold already. Are you so fucking insecure that you can't hold a piece of fucking leather for 5 seconds just to help your girlfriend? What is wrong with you?
This isn't a tactic. This is the author running out of other points to make. Douche-canoe.
4 - Touching Forbidden Goods
"It isn’t unusual for a man to want his girl and his mates to get along. After all, there’s no more legitimate stamp of approval than their rousing reception. However, if your better half begins flirting with one of your friends or even a stranger, as though she were his partner on Strictly Come Dancing, it might be time to take a long look at your relationship. Then, refocus your attention to where your best mate’s hands are situated."
Referring to your friends as "Forbidden goods" is a little worrying, as is the fact that this bit seems to refer to friends only. I'd have thought that anyone touching your girlfriend other than you (with her consent of course) would be inadmissible to most. If it's your best friend, he's obviously not your best friend.
I think this one just speaks for itself. If your girlfriend is banging another guy, try not to think of it as emasculating (which is kinda is)... try to err.... okay this one is kinda valid. Still, who does this guy have as a best friend?
Anyone else notice the irony of mentioning the words "emasculated" and "Strictly Come Dancing" in the same article? By his own logic, his penis must be minuscule.
3 - Going On The Attack
"Men frequently put their foot in their mouth. Fact. We regularly require words of constructive criticism. Possibly.
Being belittled in full view of our peers is a massive turn on. Try Again.
Nothing breaks a man’s spirit faster and more efficiently than having his better half storm in and unleash a tirade of verbal violence on him for forgetting to buy Diet Coke, while a group of his gobsmacked mates sit in silence, conflicted about whether to look remorseful or let out an almighty laugh. "
Diet Coke. Really?
Your girlfriend is shouting at you in public for not buying diet coke? She might need sectioning. That isn't emasculating, it's just stupid. Quietly remind her that she's making a scene and is probably embarrassing herself as much as you.
And of course you require constructive criticism when you've been a dick, you've done something wrong. Having a cock doesn't negate your ability to apologise when you fuck up.
But Diet Coke... what the fuck?
2 - Outrun, Outdrive, Outscore
"Call it sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded, but no man walking the earth likes to be beaten at any sport or video game -- particularly by a girl. All it takes is a loss in a drunken game of Streetfighter IV (and at the hands of Chun-Li) before you find yourself bumping into mutual friends as you shop for your trousers. With a dishevelled demeanour, staring at the floor you’ll declare, “What, these? Oh no, they’re for her.”
It’s never too early in a relationship to begin telling tall tales of dodgy knees or an injured thumb. Athletic war stories may be your only line of defence."
Yes. I will call it Sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded... it is. Are we still 10 year olds mocking girls for having lurgies? Women don't just have rights, they have abilities too. A lot of those abilities will sometimes outperform your own (I expect at least one "ping pong ball" reference in the comments section).
Case in point - Vicki Butler-Henderson. Most men will recognise her as one of the presenters from Fifth Gear. She's a woman and she can drive better than any of you sorry cunts. She's also somewhat of a sex icon among a lot of car-nuts who don't seem to give two shits that she can outdrive them. Actually, reading the comments section on her car reviews, most men seem to find her more attractive because she ISN'T just a talentless pair of tits - she's an incredibly gifted person.
I'll say this plainly. Watching my girlfriend play Spyro is a massive turn on. She is fantastic at it. She's actually better than me at pretty much every game going, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Knowing that your girlfriend shares your interests and can outperform you at certain tasks should only confirm the fact that you were made for each other. Quit being a whiny bitch and accept that women can outperform men at a lot of things besides sandwich making.
The final part, the reference to the woman "wearing the trousers" is actually a little stupid in the context of this article, which implies that women have already usurped the trousers from us poor mistreated men using their evil "tactics".
1 - Telling You To: "Be a Man"
It doesn’t matter if you’re a six-foot tall, volunteer fire-fighter who can bench-press a Toyota Prius; there is no bigger blow to the male ego than when a woman calls your manhood into question. The most terrifying factor: you never know when it’s coming.
Can’t open a jar? "Be a man!"
Are you trying to avoid confrontation? "Be a man!"
There is no more potent phrase in the female arsenal. Even the lovechild of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vinnie Jones would be taken down a peg."
After all that I've read in this heap of shit, I'm just going to finish with one point: Don't like being told to "Be a man" by your girlfriend? Well I'll say it differently...
QUIT BITCHING ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE AND BE A FUCKING MAN. IN FACT, FUCK IT, BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
Over and out,
J
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-things-women-do-to-emasculate-men.html
Take a moment to read it through and take in everything that is being said.
If you woke up with a dick this morning, you probably laughed at most of this. If you don't have a dick, you're probably a little insulted by most of this. Let's analyse both sides and see which one is a valid response (hint: look at the title)
"women will forever have the upper hand in the psychological stakes because, over time, they’ve developed and refined numerous tactics to hit men where it hurts most -- the ego."
Well, lets kick it off with this piece of "knowledge".
Okay, granted this point does hold a little weight; women have indeed developed certain tactics that they can use to hit men where it hurts... but men have developed the same skills. Every "playa" out there has used their tactics to get women into bed, every cheater has lied about his escapades, every guy who's into anal has pretended to slip it in the wrong hole (THAT'S A VALID TACTIC.)
I don't get the issue with men and their supposed Ego problems, possibly because I'm not an overly macho blokey bloke. I have an Ego and it is gigantic, but it's like my faith; untouchable by anyone else because it is mine and I am fantastic.
If you meet a man with an ego like mine, you can pretty much say what you like about me; it won't make me feel any different, I'll just think you're a cunt and then carry on being awesome.
So that's the intro out of the way, let's get down to analyzing each point one by one to outline why the author is a Bell.
10 - Making a Point
"Most of the time, the actions and comments of a woman are delivered with good intentions, designed to help us become better men.
Nevertheless, while they believe they’re sharing their pearls of wisdom for our betterment, some struggle to understand that phrases like, “You desperately need a haircut,” “There is no way you’re still a medium,” and “Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” are best left behind closed doors; not at the dinner table – with your parents – at Christmas."
What shitty romantic comedy was this guy watching when he wrote this bit?
I'll just quickly give my own response to these remarks:
“You desperately need a haircut” - No I don't. My head will be cold.
“There is no way you’re still a medium,” - Fuck you, i wouldn't call you fat.
“Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” - Yes, and i used it to set fire to things, it's what men do.
Its nice to know that women have nothing better to do at the Christmas table than complain entirely about your appearance. I don't buy this for one minute. If your girlfriend speaks to you like that, she's either worried about your health (you fat fuck) or she's just nagging you for the sake of it. Either way, its not emasculation, she's just being an annoying shit.
9 - Offering Up Their Car
"For whatever reason, your regular ride is at the garage and your lovely lady tosses you her keys with an angelic smile and says, “Just take my car.”
On the surface this may seem like a kind gesture, but what she knows (and you don’t) is that as you cruise along the high street in her electric blue Renault Clio (complete with fluffy pink seat covers) there is no chance any woman will look twice. "
Okay, glossing over the obviously moronic gender stereotype of fluffy pink seat covers (which are vile regardless of gender), why would a man in a relationship be interested in being looked at by other women? Why should it be a problem that women won't "look twice"?
This is the kind of moronic bullshit written by a man who isn't comfortable in his own sexuality to the point that he needs to be ogled by at least 5 women a day to feel like he's getting somewhere in life. Oh, is that an unfair assumption? So are pink fucking seat covers.
Taking a moment out of my typical feminist stance here for a moment, how many men out there feel so emasculated by their girlfriend that they spend any time at all wondering how attractive they are to other women? Here's a tip, if you feel emasculated by your girlfriend/wife, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Feminism doesn't diminish a man's rights to be upset if he doesn't feel worthy of being a boyfriend.
8 - Faking It
"Every man, no matter how modest, likes to feel as if he is a modern-day Don Juan. And nothing brings that castle of confidence crashing down faster than three dreaded words: “I faked it.”
The motivations for her raising this humiliating issue are often varied, but one thing is for sure -- if any criticism can make a grown man want to build a tree fort and hide away, it’s that! If you can’t beat them, join them. Next time, why not fake remembering her birthday. "
The only time i can imagine any woman telling her boyfriend she faked it is if the boyfriend did something really fucking bad (shame on you, bastard).
Imagine for a moment that you're being tossed off by your girlfriend and it feels like she's about to snap your banjo... you'd say something right? How about if you knew you'd be waiting hours to finish if you didn't point her in the right direction? You'd say something yeah? No? Fuck you.
The point is, if she says "I faked it" in a "lets talk" kind of way, chances are she just wants to make the sex better for both of you. That's not emasculating, that's thoughtful. She's saying something because if you do it properly, you will know you've done it properly.
She's trying to rejuvenate your sex life so that you BOTH enjoy it. If all you can think at that point is "well i was enjoying it, why can't she just enjoy it", go and buy a box of Kleenex and move on, you selfish idiot.
Finally, comparing this to purposely neglecting your woman's birthday isn't even worthy of making fun out of. The amount of selfish, childish "I WANT" in this sentiment is humour enough.
7 - Fixing Things For You
"When you were just starting secondary, onlookers in the street probably smiled as your Dad tucked your shirt in before you bolted excitedly into the playground. That was then. This is now.
Watching a grown man have his tie straightened or pants hitched up in public is not just awkward for the fella in question, it’s out-and-out embarrassing for witnesses within a 50-metre radius. "
If you're a grown man who NEEDS to have his pants hitched up and tie straightened by his girlfriend, you're the one with the problem. You're a grown man who can't figure out a tie! You're a grown man who doesn't know how to put trousers on properly, you fucking sponge.
Also, if you were one of the onlookers watching from the 50 metre radius because you thought she was about to take my trousers off, i deeply apologise for wasting your time.
The title of this section actually has more worrying implications but as the author didn't mention them specifically, I'll let them slide (but you were thinking them weren't you, you misogynistic tit).
6 - Death By Shopping
"The husband/boyfriend “courtesy” seat can be found inside almost all female fashion boutiques. Whilst this spongy ottoman may appear conveniently placed, it’s really the human equivalent of a street pole where dogs are bound by their leash. Once directed to “just sit down”, you become like a guppy in a fishbowl. For the record, that stinging sensation is the eyes of every other female in the store, gawking at you, impressed with how well you’ve learned the “sit” command. "
Diddums.
You're actually required to do something that makes her happy for a change.
Fucking. Diddums.
You're not bound by a leash. If you hate it that fucking much, walk away. If you love her enough (and you fucking should), put up with it to make her happy; it's not all about you. Oh and no other woman in the room is impressed by how well you've learned to sit on command, they're gawking at you because you've got a look on your face like a 10 year old who's just been scolded for eating too many sweets. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and give your lady some time to enjoy herself.
This is one of the classic situations that never actually happens. If you've been shopping with your girlfriend once and behaved like a spoilt child, your girlfriend will likely choose to never go with you again. And she'd be right to do that, you fucking cock-jester.
5 - Handing Over The Purse
"Worryingly, this tactic is employed on a daily basis in shopping centres around the country. Preceded only by a swift, almost inaudible, “Hold this for me for just a second, babe,” the poor schmuck swivels around just in time to be greeted by a mini-suitcase being shoved into his midsection. Nothing shouts “muppet" more than a dude with a defeated look on his face and a Dior tucked under his arm."
Okay what the fuck, this is just convenience right? She's handing you some shit because she has too much shit to hold already. Are you so fucking insecure that you can't hold a piece of fucking leather for 5 seconds just to help your girlfriend? What is wrong with you?
This isn't a tactic. This is the author running out of other points to make. Douche-canoe.
4 - Touching Forbidden Goods
"It isn’t unusual for a man to want his girl and his mates to get along. After all, there’s no more legitimate stamp of approval than their rousing reception. However, if your better half begins flirting with one of your friends or even a stranger, as though she were his partner on Strictly Come Dancing, it might be time to take a long look at your relationship. Then, refocus your attention to where your best mate’s hands are situated."
Referring to your friends as "Forbidden goods" is a little worrying, as is the fact that this bit seems to refer to friends only. I'd have thought that anyone touching your girlfriend other than you (with her consent of course) would be inadmissible to most. If it's your best friend, he's obviously not your best friend.
I think this one just speaks for itself. If your girlfriend is banging another guy, try not to think of it as emasculating (which is kinda is)... try to err.... okay this one is kinda valid. Still, who does this guy have as a best friend?
Anyone else notice the irony of mentioning the words "emasculated" and "Strictly Come Dancing" in the same article? By his own logic, his penis must be minuscule.
3 - Going On The Attack
"Men frequently put their foot in their mouth. Fact. We regularly require words of constructive criticism. Possibly.
Being belittled in full view of our peers is a massive turn on. Try Again.
Nothing breaks a man’s spirit faster and more efficiently than having his better half storm in and unleash a tirade of verbal violence on him for forgetting to buy Diet Coke, while a group of his gobsmacked mates sit in silence, conflicted about whether to look remorseful or let out an almighty laugh. "
Diet Coke. Really?
Your girlfriend is shouting at you in public for not buying diet coke? She might need sectioning. That isn't emasculating, it's just stupid. Quietly remind her that she's making a scene and is probably embarrassing herself as much as you.
And of course you require constructive criticism when you've been a dick, you've done something wrong. Having a cock doesn't negate your ability to apologise when you fuck up.
But Diet Coke... what the fuck?
2 - Outrun, Outdrive, Outscore
"Call it sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded, but no man walking the earth likes to be beaten at any sport or video game -- particularly by a girl. All it takes is a loss in a drunken game of Streetfighter IV (and at the hands of Chun-Li) before you find yourself bumping into mutual friends as you shop for your trousers. With a dishevelled demeanour, staring at the floor you’ll declare, “What, these? Oh no, they’re for her.”
It’s never too early in a relationship to begin telling tall tales of dodgy knees or an injured thumb. Athletic war stories may be your only line of defence."
Yes. I will call it Sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded... it is. Are we still 10 year olds mocking girls for having lurgies? Women don't just have rights, they have abilities too. A lot of those abilities will sometimes outperform your own (I expect at least one "ping pong ball" reference in the comments section).
Case in point - Vicki Butler-Henderson. Most men will recognise her as one of the presenters from Fifth Gear. She's a woman and she can drive better than any of you sorry cunts. She's also somewhat of a sex icon among a lot of car-nuts who don't seem to give two shits that she can outdrive them. Actually, reading the comments section on her car reviews, most men seem to find her more attractive because she ISN'T just a talentless pair of tits - she's an incredibly gifted person.
I'll say this plainly. Watching my girlfriend play Spyro is a massive turn on. She is fantastic at it. She's actually better than me at pretty much every game going, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Knowing that your girlfriend shares your interests and can outperform you at certain tasks should only confirm the fact that you were made for each other. Quit being a whiny bitch and accept that women can outperform men at a lot of things besides sandwich making.
The final part, the reference to the woman "wearing the trousers" is actually a little stupid in the context of this article, which implies that women have already usurped the trousers from us poor mistreated men using their evil "tactics".
1 - Telling You To: "Be a Man"
It doesn’t matter if you’re a six-foot tall, volunteer fire-fighter who can bench-press a Toyota Prius; there is no bigger blow to the male ego than when a woman calls your manhood into question. The most terrifying factor: you never know when it’s coming.
Can’t open a jar? "Be a man!"
Are you trying to avoid confrontation? "Be a man!"
There is no more potent phrase in the female arsenal. Even the lovechild of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vinnie Jones would be taken down a peg."
After all that I've read in this heap of shit, I'm just going to finish with one point: Don't like being told to "Be a man" by your girlfriend? Well I'll say it differently...
QUIT BITCHING ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE AND BE A FUCKING MAN. IN FACT, FUCK IT, BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
Over and out,
J
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