Bethanie Bathory Derrigrighti'm going to prove that christians stole yule from pagansfor my own personal reasons and i'm going to ramble at youxD
James Stonedo it.- Bethanie Bathory Derrigeven god damn fucking santawe're told that he's based on some actual figure called kriss kringle amongst other thingsKRISS FUCKING KRINGLEdid you know that is a story that is actually from norse religion?the fat beardy guy in a sleigh is actually based on odinodin was the germanic god of mid winteractivity from the spirit world was beleived to be stronger during midwinter and odin, atop slephinir would ride across the skies with the wildhuntif you read up about slephinir you can see how he would turn into the stories of reindeer that can fly and carry santa around the world so quicklyOdin has more than one name in norse and in other germanic religionsone of which is Jolnirwhich means the figure of yuleAND GET THISTO APPEASE ODIN AND SLEPHINIR AS THEY ROSE ACROSS THE HEAVENS LIKE BAMFSCHILDREN WOULD LEAVE OUT SHOES AND SOCKS WITH CARROTS AND HAY FOR SLEPHINIRAND IN RETURN FOR THEIR KINDNESS ODIN WOULD LEAVE THEM GIFTSSOUND FUCKING FAMILIAR?
- James Stoneit rings a bell yeah...
- Bethanie Bathory Derrigasfdfgjfdgjhidthori
Wednesday 11 December 2013
Sunday 24 November 2013
Bodies
Women, as portrayed in the media, come in very few shapes and sizes.
The first is the catwalk model. "Heroin Chic" is a term you hear a lot of in this area, women are as thin as humanly possible and eating disorders are generally encouraged.
The second is the "Page 3" model... all that matters here is the size of the chest.
The third is in video games, which portray women of shapes that simply do not exist in nature, with strangely extended torsos and overly accentuated curves that look like no woman in the world. This is not an oversight of the designer; this is intentional. Technology has allowed for the accurate representation of males but apparently not females.
There is only one industry that features women in all possible shapes and sizes, and provides a more accurate view of what the female body looks like. That is the world of amateur porn. The market that has, in recent years, almost put the professional porn industry out of business as the market is slowly swamped with more and more home-made videos of couples boning each other.
But this is the worry for me. The overly sexualised and "idealised" view of women as portrayed in the media fulfills a very small group of shapes that women can have. Porn features them all.
Why, when we attempt to sexualise women for the market that is safe for viewing on your TV or console at home, do we censor more than just the nudity?
Why do we censor the women themselves, leaving only people who fit into the accepted norm?
Why does porn have to represent the widest range of possible female shapes in the televised market?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is...
When did the most accurate portrayal of women's bodies in the media go underground?
The first is the catwalk model. "Heroin Chic" is a term you hear a lot of in this area, women are as thin as humanly possible and eating disorders are generally encouraged.
The second is the "Page 3" model... all that matters here is the size of the chest.
The third is in video games, which portray women of shapes that simply do not exist in nature, with strangely extended torsos and overly accentuated curves that look like no woman in the world. This is not an oversight of the designer; this is intentional. Technology has allowed for the accurate representation of males but apparently not females.
There is only one industry that features women in all possible shapes and sizes, and provides a more accurate view of what the female body looks like. That is the world of amateur porn. The market that has, in recent years, almost put the professional porn industry out of business as the market is slowly swamped with more and more home-made videos of couples boning each other.
But this is the worry for me. The overly sexualised and "idealised" view of women as portrayed in the media fulfills a very small group of shapes that women can have. Porn features them all.
Why, when we attempt to sexualise women for the market that is safe for viewing on your TV or console at home, do we censor more than just the nudity?
Why do we censor the women themselves, leaving only people who fit into the accepted norm?
Why does porn have to represent the widest range of possible female shapes in the televised market?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is...
When did the most accurate portrayal of women's bodies in the media go underground?
Saturday 16 November 2013
WWIS - What the fuck am I?
Some of you may be aware of the "What Would I Say?" Facebook app.
http://what-would-i-say.com/
This lovely gizmo creates a fake status by analysing a portion of the comments and statuses you've posted in the past.
As you can imagine, for most people at least, this can be rather funny. For me however, it is a window on to my very soul. Thanks to the wide range of shite I post on Facebook on a daily basis, there is a nice repertoire for the app to choose from. To that end, here are some of my favourites. Enjoy:
And of course my personal favourite "An exercise in their sadistic nazi strapon porn".
This confirms my suspicion that I should be locked up and forgotten about forever. Think you can do better? Post in the comments below...
http://what-would-i-say.com/
This lovely gizmo creates a fake status by analysing a portion of the comments and statuses you've posted in the past.
As you can imagine, for most people at least, this can be rather funny. For me however, it is a window on to my very soul. Thanks to the wide range of shite I post on Facebook on a daily basis, there is a nice repertoire for the app to choose from. To that end, here are some of my favourites. Enjoy:
- The best fucking shite
- fuck it, you
- Dick party at mine
- That is the fuck
- pfft zombies are utter cockjesters
- ahh i think years of excessive masturbation aid in it
- Call someone a Cunt
- XP has fucking AIDS now.
- i already own a fucking knife. Sit back
- STOP TAKING SHIT
- Bestiality, drug dealer...
- I don't go through the outbreak of Cunt
- Smoke a blunt, slap a bitch.
- PHYSICS. STARS, CUNT!
- Police do yourselves a retard
- a bit of Largest Phallus in public
- It's already a massive bift then
- I don't particularly give a superman fan
- its probably just generally a horrible place to wipe them
- i'll teabag his fucking rectum
- thank him with various power tools
- This status is forced to shoot jews from a fucking spastic for people
- Seeing everyone in a quiet voice exclaimed Ahhh... Bisto.
- a bit shit
- The best presenter by a blue whale spunks in his INTRO MAN
- It was an excuse to make a chocolate cake you're a fucking spastic
- its probably caught masturbating over trolls nowadays
- It's already a shithole.
- For those over the outbreak of velcro at the shadows and fuck
- 2 cunts with them.
- I don't recall mentioning anything regarding my blood everywhere.
- Jesus fucking expensive shit
- glue sandpaper to a facebookwide masturbation aid in a truly great storm, i can regulate it
- You're gunna turn dem fuckas into pin cushions
- Its portrayal of blacks is fun
- A fart followed by a sloshing sound in the budget ran out through his cock
- i'll teabag his torn corpse.
- A novice at being angry if anyone is low-res boob shots a quick google took on China's Censorship skeletor
- Everything he touches turns to cheaper speaker reviews on it
And of course my personal favourite "An exercise in their sadistic nazi strapon porn".
This confirms my suspicion that I should be locked up and forgotten about forever. Think you can do better? Post in the comments below...
Thursday 14 November 2013
The 10 signs of emasculation, written by a scrote-joker.
This article annoyed me in a lot of ways and I thought it was only fair I give it my customary going over:
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-things-women-do-to-emasculate-men.html
Take a moment to read it through and take in everything that is being said.
If you woke up with a dick this morning, you probably laughed at most of this. If you don't have a dick, you're probably a little insulted by most of this. Let's analyse both sides and see which one is a valid response (hint: look at the title)
"women will forever have the upper hand in the psychological stakes because, over time, they’ve developed and refined numerous tactics to hit men where it hurts most -- the ego."
Well, lets kick it off with this piece of "knowledge".
Okay, granted this point does hold a little weight; women have indeed developed certain tactics that they can use to hit men where it hurts... but men have developed the same skills. Every "playa" out there has used their tactics to get women into bed, every cheater has lied about his escapades, every guy who's into anal has pretended to slip it in the wrong hole (THAT'S A VALID TACTIC.)
I don't get the issue with men and their supposed Ego problems, possibly because I'm not an overly macho blokey bloke. I have an Ego and it is gigantic, but it's like my faith; untouchable by anyone else because it is mine and I am fantastic.
If you meet a man with an ego like mine, you can pretty much say what you like about me; it won't make me feel any different, I'll just think you're a cunt and then carry on being awesome.
So that's the intro out of the way, let's get down to analyzing each point one by one to outline why the author is a Bell.
10 - Making a Point
"Most of the time, the actions and comments of a woman are delivered with good intentions, designed to help us become better men.
Nevertheless, while they believe they’re sharing their pearls of wisdom for our betterment, some struggle to understand that phrases like, “You desperately need a haircut,” “There is no way you’re still a medium,” and “Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” are best left behind closed doors; not at the dinner table – with your parents – at Christmas."
What shitty romantic comedy was this guy watching when he wrote this bit?
I'll just quickly give my own response to these remarks:
“You desperately need a haircut” - No I don't. My head will be cold.
“There is no way you’re still a medium,” - Fuck you, i wouldn't call you fat.
“Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” - Yes, and i used it to set fire to things, it's what men do.
Its nice to know that women have nothing better to do at the Christmas table than complain entirely about your appearance. I don't buy this for one minute. If your girlfriend speaks to you like that, she's either worried about your health (you fat fuck) or she's just nagging you for the sake of it. Either way, its not emasculation, she's just being an annoying shit.
9 - Offering Up Their Car
"For whatever reason, your regular ride is at the garage and your lovely lady tosses you her keys with an angelic smile and says, “Just take my car.”
On the surface this may seem like a kind gesture, but what she knows (and you don’t) is that as you cruise along the high street in her electric blue Renault Clio (complete with fluffy pink seat covers) there is no chance any woman will look twice. "
Okay, glossing over the obviously moronic gender stereotype of fluffy pink seat covers (which are vile regardless of gender), why would a man in a relationship be interested in being looked at by other women? Why should it be a problem that women won't "look twice"?
This is the kind of moronic bullshit written by a man who isn't comfortable in his own sexuality to the point that he needs to be ogled by at least 5 women a day to feel like he's getting somewhere in life. Oh, is that an unfair assumption? So are pink fucking seat covers.
Taking a moment out of my typical feminist stance here for a moment, how many men out there feel so emasculated by their girlfriend that they spend any time at all wondering how attractive they are to other women? Here's a tip, if you feel emasculated by your girlfriend/wife, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Feminism doesn't diminish a man's rights to be upset if he doesn't feel worthy of being a boyfriend.
8 - Faking It
"Every man, no matter how modest, likes to feel as if he is a modern-day Don Juan. And nothing brings that castle of confidence crashing down faster than three dreaded words: “I faked it.”
The motivations for her raising this humiliating issue are often varied, but one thing is for sure -- if any criticism can make a grown man want to build a tree fort and hide away, it’s that! If you can’t beat them, join them. Next time, why not fake remembering her birthday. "
The only time i can imagine any woman telling her boyfriend she faked it is if the boyfriend did something really fucking bad (shame on you, bastard).
Imagine for a moment that you're being tossed off by your girlfriend and it feels like she's about to snap your banjo... you'd say something right? How about if you knew you'd be waiting hours to finish if you didn't point her in the right direction? You'd say something yeah? No? Fuck you.
The point is, if she says "I faked it" in a "lets talk" kind of way, chances are she just wants to make the sex better for both of you. That's not emasculating, that's thoughtful. She's saying something because if you do it properly, you will know you've done it properly.
She's trying to rejuvenate your sex life so that you BOTH enjoy it. If all you can think at that point is "well i was enjoying it, why can't she just enjoy it", go and buy a box of Kleenex and move on, you selfish idiot.
Finally, comparing this to purposely neglecting your woman's birthday isn't even worthy of making fun out of. The amount of selfish, childish "I WANT" in this sentiment is humour enough.
7 - Fixing Things For You
"When you were just starting secondary, onlookers in the street probably smiled as your Dad tucked your shirt in before you bolted excitedly into the playground. That was then. This is now.
Watching a grown man have his tie straightened or pants hitched up in public is not just awkward for the fella in question, it’s out-and-out embarrassing for witnesses within a 50-metre radius. "
If you're a grown man who NEEDS to have his pants hitched up and tie straightened by his girlfriend, you're the one with the problem. You're a grown man who can't figure out a tie! You're a grown man who doesn't know how to put trousers on properly, you fucking sponge.
Also, if you were one of the onlookers watching from the 50 metre radius because you thought she was about to take my trousers off, i deeply apologise for wasting your time.
The title of this section actually has more worrying implications but as the author didn't mention them specifically, I'll let them slide (but you were thinking them weren't you, you misogynistic tit).
6 - Death By Shopping
"The husband/boyfriend “courtesy” seat can be found inside almost all female fashion boutiques. Whilst this spongy ottoman may appear conveniently placed, it’s really the human equivalent of a street pole where dogs are bound by their leash. Once directed to “just sit down”, you become like a guppy in a fishbowl. For the record, that stinging sensation is the eyes of every other female in the store, gawking at you, impressed with how well you’ve learned the “sit” command. "
Diddums.
You're actually required to do something that makes her happy for a change.
Fucking. Diddums.
You're not bound by a leash. If you hate it that fucking much, walk away. If you love her enough (and you fucking should), put up with it to make her happy; it's not all about you. Oh and no other woman in the room is impressed by how well you've learned to sit on command, they're gawking at you because you've got a look on your face like a 10 year old who's just been scolded for eating too many sweets. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and give your lady some time to enjoy herself.
This is one of the classic situations that never actually happens. If you've been shopping with your girlfriend once and behaved like a spoilt child, your girlfriend will likely choose to never go with you again. And she'd be right to do that, you fucking cock-jester.
5 - Handing Over The Purse
"Worryingly, this tactic is employed on a daily basis in shopping centres around the country. Preceded only by a swift, almost inaudible, “Hold this for me for just a second, babe,” the poor schmuck swivels around just in time to be greeted by a mini-suitcase being shoved into his midsection. Nothing shouts “muppet" more than a dude with a defeated look on his face and a Dior tucked under his arm."
Okay what the fuck, this is just convenience right? She's handing you some shit because she has too much shit to hold already. Are you so fucking insecure that you can't hold a piece of fucking leather for 5 seconds just to help your girlfriend? What is wrong with you?
This isn't a tactic. This is the author running out of other points to make. Douche-canoe.
4 - Touching Forbidden Goods
"It isn’t unusual for a man to want his girl and his mates to get along. After all, there’s no more legitimate stamp of approval than their rousing reception. However, if your better half begins flirting with one of your friends or even a stranger, as though she were his partner on Strictly Come Dancing, it might be time to take a long look at your relationship. Then, refocus your attention to where your best mate’s hands are situated."
Referring to your friends as "Forbidden goods" is a little worrying, as is the fact that this bit seems to refer to friends only. I'd have thought that anyone touching your girlfriend other than you (with her consent of course) would be inadmissible to most. If it's your best friend, he's obviously not your best friend.
I think this one just speaks for itself. If your girlfriend is banging another guy, try not to think of it as emasculating (which is kinda is)... try to err.... okay this one is kinda valid. Still, who does this guy have as a best friend?
Anyone else notice the irony of mentioning the words "emasculated" and "Strictly Come Dancing" in the same article? By his own logic, his penis must be minuscule.
3 - Going On The Attack
"Men frequently put their foot in their mouth. Fact. We regularly require words of constructive criticism. Possibly.
Being belittled in full view of our peers is a massive turn on. Try Again.
Nothing breaks a man’s spirit faster and more efficiently than having his better half storm in and unleash a tirade of verbal violence on him for forgetting to buy Diet Coke, while a group of his gobsmacked mates sit in silence, conflicted about whether to look remorseful or let out an almighty laugh. "
Diet Coke. Really?
Your girlfriend is shouting at you in public for not buying diet coke? She might need sectioning. That isn't emasculating, it's just stupid. Quietly remind her that she's making a scene and is probably embarrassing herself as much as you.
And of course you require constructive criticism when you've been a dick, you've done something wrong. Having a cock doesn't negate your ability to apologise when you fuck up.
But Diet Coke... what the fuck?
2 - Outrun, Outdrive, Outscore
"Call it sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded, but no man walking the earth likes to be beaten at any sport or video game -- particularly by a girl. All it takes is a loss in a drunken game of Streetfighter IV (and at the hands of Chun-Li) before you find yourself bumping into mutual friends as you shop for your trousers. With a dishevelled demeanour, staring at the floor you’ll declare, “What, these? Oh no, they’re for her.”
It’s never too early in a relationship to begin telling tall tales of dodgy knees or an injured thumb. Athletic war stories may be your only line of defence."
Yes. I will call it Sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded... it is. Are we still 10 year olds mocking girls for having lurgies? Women don't just have rights, they have abilities too. A lot of those abilities will sometimes outperform your own (I expect at least one "ping pong ball" reference in the comments section).
Case in point - Vicki Butler-Henderson. Most men will recognise her as one of the presenters from Fifth Gear. She's a woman and she can drive better than any of you sorry cunts. She's also somewhat of a sex icon among a lot of car-nuts who don't seem to give two shits that she can outdrive them. Actually, reading the comments section on her car reviews, most men seem to find her more attractive because she ISN'T just a talentless pair of tits - she's an incredibly gifted person.
I'll say this plainly. Watching my girlfriend play Spyro is a massive turn on. She is fantastic at it. She's actually better than me at pretty much every game going, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Knowing that your girlfriend shares your interests and can outperform you at certain tasks should only confirm the fact that you were made for each other. Quit being a whiny bitch and accept that women can outperform men at a lot of things besides sandwich making.
The final part, the reference to the woman "wearing the trousers" is actually a little stupid in the context of this article, which implies that women have already usurped the trousers from us poor mistreated men using their evil "tactics".
1 - Telling You To: "Be a Man"
It doesn’t matter if you’re a six-foot tall, volunteer fire-fighter who can bench-press a Toyota Prius; there is no bigger blow to the male ego than when a woman calls your manhood into question. The most terrifying factor: you never know when it’s coming.
Can’t open a jar? "Be a man!"
Are you trying to avoid confrontation? "Be a man!"
There is no more potent phrase in the female arsenal. Even the lovechild of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vinnie Jones would be taken down a peg."
After all that I've read in this heap of shit, I'm just going to finish with one point: Don't like being told to "Be a man" by your girlfriend? Well I'll say it differently...
QUIT BITCHING ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE AND BE A FUCKING MAN. IN FACT, FUCK IT, BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
Over and out,
J
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-things-women-do-to-emasculate-men.html
Take a moment to read it through and take in everything that is being said.
If you woke up with a dick this morning, you probably laughed at most of this. If you don't have a dick, you're probably a little insulted by most of this. Let's analyse both sides and see which one is a valid response (hint: look at the title)
"women will forever have the upper hand in the psychological stakes because, over time, they’ve developed and refined numerous tactics to hit men where it hurts most -- the ego."
Well, lets kick it off with this piece of "knowledge".
Okay, granted this point does hold a little weight; women have indeed developed certain tactics that they can use to hit men where it hurts... but men have developed the same skills. Every "playa" out there has used their tactics to get women into bed, every cheater has lied about his escapades, every guy who's into anal has pretended to slip it in the wrong hole (THAT'S A VALID TACTIC.)
I don't get the issue with men and their supposed Ego problems, possibly because I'm not an overly macho blokey bloke. I have an Ego and it is gigantic, but it's like my faith; untouchable by anyone else because it is mine and I am fantastic.
If you meet a man with an ego like mine, you can pretty much say what you like about me; it won't make me feel any different, I'll just think you're a cunt and then carry on being awesome.
So that's the intro out of the way, let's get down to analyzing each point one by one to outline why the author is a Bell.
10 - Making a Point
"Most of the time, the actions and comments of a woman are delivered with good intentions, designed to help us become better men.
Nevertheless, while they believe they’re sharing their pearls of wisdom for our betterment, some struggle to understand that phrases like, “You desperately need a haircut,” “There is no way you’re still a medium,” and “Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” are best left behind closed doors; not at the dinner table – with your parents – at Christmas."
What shitty romantic comedy was this guy watching when he wrote this bit?
I'll just quickly give my own response to these remarks:
“You desperately need a haircut” - No I don't. My head will be cold.
“There is no way you’re still a medium,” - Fuck you, i wouldn't call you fat.
“Didn’t I just buy you deodorant?” - Yes, and i used it to set fire to things, it's what men do.
Its nice to know that women have nothing better to do at the Christmas table than complain entirely about your appearance. I don't buy this for one minute. If your girlfriend speaks to you like that, she's either worried about your health (you fat fuck) or she's just nagging you for the sake of it. Either way, its not emasculation, she's just being an annoying shit.
9 - Offering Up Their Car
"For whatever reason, your regular ride is at the garage and your lovely lady tosses you her keys with an angelic smile and says, “Just take my car.”
On the surface this may seem like a kind gesture, but what she knows (and you don’t) is that as you cruise along the high street in her electric blue Renault Clio (complete with fluffy pink seat covers) there is no chance any woman will look twice. "
Okay, glossing over the obviously moronic gender stereotype of fluffy pink seat covers (which are vile regardless of gender), why would a man in a relationship be interested in being looked at by other women? Why should it be a problem that women won't "look twice"?
This is the kind of moronic bullshit written by a man who isn't comfortable in his own sexuality to the point that he needs to be ogled by at least 5 women a day to feel like he's getting somewhere in life. Oh, is that an unfair assumption? So are pink fucking seat covers.
Taking a moment out of my typical feminist stance here for a moment, how many men out there feel so emasculated by their girlfriend that they spend any time at all wondering how attractive they are to other women? Here's a tip, if you feel emasculated by your girlfriend/wife, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Feminism doesn't diminish a man's rights to be upset if he doesn't feel worthy of being a boyfriend.
8 - Faking It
"Every man, no matter how modest, likes to feel as if he is a modern-day Don Juan. And nothing brings that castle of confidence crashing down faster than three dreaded words: “I faked it.”
The motivations for her raising this humiliating issue are often varied, but one thing is for sure -- if any criticism can make a grown man want to build a tree fort and hide away, it’s that! If you can’t beat them, join them. Next time, why not fake remembering her birthday. "
The only time i can imagine any woman telling her boyfriend she faked it is if the boyfriend did something really fucking bad (shame on you, bastard).
Imagine for a moment that you're being tossed off by your girlfriend and it feels like she's about to snap your banjo... you'd say something right? How about if you knew you'd be waiting hours to finish if you didn't point her in the right direction? You'd say something yeah? No? Fuck you.
The point is, if she says "I faked it" in a "lets talk" kind of way, chances are she just wants to make the sex better for both of you. That's not emasculating, that's thoughtful. She's saying something because if you do it properly, you will know you've done it properly.
She's trying to rejuvenate your sex life so that you BOTH enjoy it. If all you can think at that point is "well i was enjoying it, why can't she just enjoy it", go and buy a box of Kleenex and move on, you selfish idiot.
Finally, comparing this to purposely neglecting your woman's birthday isn't even worthy of making fun out of. The amount of selfish, childish "I WANT" in this sentiment is humour enough.
7 - Fixing Things For You
"When you were just starting secondary, onlookers in the street probably smiled as your Dad tucked your shirt in before you bolted excitedly into the playground. That was then. This is now.
Watching a grown man have his tie straightened or pants hitched up in public is not just awkward for the fella in question, it’s out-and-out embarrassing for witnesses within a 50-metre radius. "
If you're a grown man who NEEDS to have his pants hitched up and tie straightened by his girlfriend, you're the one with the problem. You're a grown man who can't figure out a tie! You're a grown man who doesn't know how to put trousers on properly, you fucking sponge.
Also, if you were one of the onlookers watching from the 50 metre radius because you thought she was about to take my trousers off, i deeply apologise for wasting your time.
The title of this section actually has more worrying implications but as the author didn't mention them specifically, I'll let them slide (but you were thinking them weren't you, you misogynistic tit).
6 - Death By Shopping
"The husband/boyfriend “courtesy” seat can be found inside almost all female fashion boutiques. Whilst this spongy ottoman may appear conveniently placed, it’s really the human equivalent of a street pole where dogs are bound by their leash. Once directed to “just sit down”, you become like a guppy in a fishbowl. For the record, that stinging sensation is the eyes of every other female in the store, gawking at you, impressed with how well you’ve learned the “sit” command. "
Diddums.
You're actually required to do something that makes her happy for a change.
Fucking. Diddums.
You're not bound by a leash. If you hate it that fucking much, walk away. If you love her enough (and you fucking should), put up with it to make her happy; it's not all about you. Oh and no other woman in the room is impressed by how well you've learned to sit on command, they're gawking at you because you've got a look on your face like a 10 year old who's just been scolded for eating too many sweets. Sit down, shut the fuck up, and give your lady some time to enjoy herself.
This is one of the classic situations that never actually happens. If you've been shopping with your girlfriend once and behaved like a spoilt child, your girlfriend will likely choose to never go with you again. And she'd be right to do that, you fucking cock-jester.
5 - Handing Over The Purse
"Worryingly, this tactic is employed on a daily basis in shopping centres around the country. Preceded only by a swift, almost inaudible, “Hold this for me for just a second, babe,” the poor schmuck swivels around just in time to be greeted by a mini-suitcase being shoved into his midsection. Nothing shouts “muppet" more than a dude with a defeated look on his face and a Dior tucked under his arm."
Okay what the fuck, this is just convenience right? She's handing you some shit because she has too much shit to hold already. Are you so fucking insecure that you can't hold a piece of fucking leather for 5 seconds just to help your girlfriend? What is wrong with you?
This isn't a tactic. This is the author running out of other points to make. Douche-canoe.
4 - Touching Forbidden Goods
"It isn’t unusual for a man to want his girl and his mates to get along. After all, there’s no more legitimate stamp of approval than their rousing reception. However, if your better half begins flirting with one of your friends or even a stranger, as though she were his partner on Strictly Come Dancing, it might be time to take a long look at your relationship. Then, refocus your attention to where your best mate’s hands are situated."
Referring to your friends as "Forbidden goods" is a little worrying, as is the fact that this bit seems to refer to friends only. I'd have thought that anyone touching your girlfriend other than you (with her consent of course) would be inadmissible to most. If it's your best friend, he's obviously not your best friend.
I think this one just speaks for itself. If your girlfriend is banging another guy, try not to think of it as emasculating (which is kinda is)... try to err.... okay this one is kinda valid. Still, who does this guy have as a best friend?
Anyone else notice the irony of mentioning the words "emasculated" and "Strictly Come Dancing" in the same article? By his own logic, his penis must be minuscule.
3 - Going On The Attack
"Men frequently put their foot in their mouth. Fact. We regularly require words of constructive criticism. Possibly.
Being belittled in full view of our peers is a massive turn on. Try Again.
Nothing breaks a man’s spirit faster and more efficiently than having his better half storm in and unleash a tirade of verbal violence on him for forgetting to buy Diet Coke, while a group of his gobsmacked mates sit in silence, conflicted about whether to look remorseful or let out an almighty laugh. "
Diet Coke. Really?
Your girlfriend is shouting at you in public for not buying diet coke? She might need sectioning. That isn't emasculating, it's just stupid. Quietly remind her that she's making a scene and is probably embarrassing herself as much as you.
And of course you require constructive criticism when you've been a dick, you've done something wrong. Having a cock doesn't negate your ability to apologise when you fuck up.
But Diet Coke... what the fuck?
2 - Outrun, Outdrive, Outscore
"Call it sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded, but no man walking the earth likes to be beaten at any sport or video game -- particularly by a girl. All it takes is a loss in a drunken game of Streetfighter IV (and at the hands of Chun-Li) before you find yourself bumping into mutual friends as you shop for your trousers. With a dishevelled demeanour, staring at the floor you’ll declare, “What, these? Oh no, they’re for her.”
It’s never too early in a relationship to begin telling tall tales of dodgy knees or an injured thumb. Athletic war stories may be your only line of defence."
Yes. I will call it Sexist, bigoted and narrow-minded... it is. Are we still 10 year olds mocking girls for having lurgies? Women don't just have rights, they have abilities too. A lot of those abilities will sometimes outperform your own (I expect at least one "ping pong ball" reference in the comments section).
Case in point - Vicki Butler-Henderson. Most men will recognise her as one of the presenters from Fifth Gear. She's a woman and she can drive better than any of you sorry cunts. She's also somewhat of a sex icon among a lot of car-nuts who don't seem to give two shits that she can outdrive them. Actually, reading the comments section on her car reviews, most men seem to find her more attractive because she ISN'T just a talentless pair of tits - she's an incredibly gifted person.
I'll say this plainly. Watching my girlfriend play Spyro is a massive turn on. She is fantastic at it. She's actually better than me at pretty much every game going, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Knowing that your girlfriend shares your interests and can outperform you at certain tasks should only confirm the fact that you were made for each other. Quit being a whiny bitch and accept that women can outperform men at a lot of things besides sandwich making.
The final part, the reference to the woman "wearing the trousers" is actually a little stupid in the context of this article, which implies that women have already usurped the trousers from us poor mistreated men using their evil "tactics".
1 - Telling You To: "Be a Man"
It doesn’t matter if you’re a six-foot tall, volunteer fire-fighter who can bench-press a Toyota Prius; there is no bigger blow to the male ego than when a woman calls your manhood into question. The most terrifying factor: you never know when it’s coming.
Can’t open a jar? "Be a man!"
Are you trying to avoid confrontation? "Be a man!"
There is no more potent phrase in the female arsenal. Even the lovechild of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Vinnie Jones would be taken down a peg."
After all that I've read in this heap of shit, I'm just going to finish with one point: Don't like being told to "Be a man" by your girlfriend? Well I'll say it differently...
QUIT BITCHING ABOUT ALL OF THE ABOVE AND BE A FUCKING MAN. IN FACT, FUCK IT, BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING.
Over and out,
J
Sunday 20 October 2013
Women, stop drinking unless you want to get raped.
A very bold statement, I know. Allow me to elaborate.
Probably a good idea to point out from the start that the title is intrinsically linked to the article this post (read, rant) is based on. It is used in an ironic sense and in reference to that article. I say this to avoid the inevitable fuckwits that read the title and then comment before reading the rest.
Okay, uncomfortable pre-emptive threats out of the way, lets get to the point...
College Women: Stop Getting Drunk
Yeah. Read it and let it sink in before we go further.
Yeah. Now because you're a clever person and you are in awe at what you just read, read it all again just so you know you aren't dreaming.
Is this the world we now live in? "Well... if you hadn't have gotten drunk it would never have happened. Now wipe the semen off your face and get back on to the streets you whore".
Yeah, I'm definitely paraphrasing at this stage but the message is ultimately clear; If you get raped while pissed, you shouldn't have gotten pissed, you silly cow. Never mind the fact that someone harmed another human being and left lasting emotional scars that will ruin her life forever, lets just blame the alcohol.
Rape is a societal issue. It is not a victimless crime. It is a very real thing that hundreds of women go through every day; abusive parents and spouses, strangers in seedy bars, people you thought you knew...
It's about time we took a step back to look at the whole picture. The problem here stems from the fact that as a society, we are still a very male orientated culture. There's a reason there's less requirement for a "men's rights" campaign, the same reason a "white pride" march wouldn't necessarily fit modern society (other than EDL, that's okay apparently, for reasons I'm not quite sure about). There are exceptions, Fathers For Justice being a good example, but on the whole, it isn't necessary. Men are not an oppressed minority.
Try this for me. Walk down a city street until you find an advert on a billboard. Better yet, turn on your TV and watch an advert on there. Look at the side of a bus. Look for one containing a half-naked female (usually seen swooning towards the camera as though the very thought of being glued to the side of a bus gives her a tingly feeling).
Now take that woman, and replace her with a man. Don't replace the clothing (by all means replace the swimwear with the male equivalent), just replace the face and body. Now stand, look at your creation, and laugh at how ridiculous it is. Congratulations, you've just proven that male-orientated advertising reduces women to eye candy (and puts needless pressure on other women to match that image, but that's another rant). Any time you couldn't conceivably replace the woman in any advert with a male dressed in an equivalent fashion, you're looking at sexist advertising. You see it everywhere.
Now this advertising plays an important part in something called rape culture. If you don't know what it is, read up on it, its a complex thing that deserves more attention than I can give it.
Take the "Blurred Lines" video as an example (if you haven't seen it, its probably best that you spare yourself the effort). The title itself is a reference to the "two-face" nature of rape itself, the "blurred lines" between what can be conceivably be considered as rape and assault, and what cannot.
The lyrics of the song make numerous references to women "wanting it" when clearly not asking for it, and the lyrical genius makes numerous comparisons between women and animals. People say sexism is a thing of the past, but if 20 years ago women "belonged in the kitchen" and today they belong in a barn, can we really pretend we're making progress?
The artist is also very honest about the fact that the track was written to be "tongue in cheek" and was supposed to be degrading to women all along. Oh, well the fact that you're being ironic (and have spent a few thousand pounds on a glitzy video to showcase that irony) make it perfectly okay. You're off the hook, you lowlife piece of shit.
Rape culture itself can be simply defined as the integration and acceptance of rape in society. This sounds a little strange, and I'm sure no one i know would openly accept rape as the norm within society, but the problem first comes from defining rape.
We like to think of rape as being something that doesn't happen in the area we happen to live. Something that very few people are capable of doing, perhaps it happens in poor areas, or on the dodgy estate with the house that has a sofa in the front garden. In actual fact, the majority of rape doesn't happen in the shadows, it happens out in the open. Rape is such a difficult crime to convict people for, and this is mostly because of the culprits... the majority of rape victims (as with murder) knew the attacker beforehand. The rapists that we hear about on the news are not the kind that I am interested in - they are serial killers who prefer to murder the minds of their victims to leave the rest of their body to suffer torment, they are the lowest of the low. No, the rapists that should worry people most are the ones that you live with, the ones that you drink with, the ones that you have grown up with... the "insiders".
I'm not saying this to scare people, what I'm saying will link back to the article I already posted. We never hear about these rapes because they are generally never reported. Not because the victim is too scared to admit to it, but because they know very little can be done about it.
The image of a rape as being a violent thing isn't usually correct either. Let me put it bluntly:
If a woman says no, and you carry on anyway (whether she tries to defend herself or not), you are a sex offender.
If you decide to "cop a feel" when you see a pretty woman at the bar, you're a sex offender.
If you in any way expose yourself to someone in a way that could be deemed threatening, you are a sex offender.
You see, this is what rape culture is. This is the type of behaviour that isn't seen as negative at all, it's seen as being normal, "boys will be boys"... it disgusts me.
This is the reason that we have articles telling women to stop getting drunk to avoid being raped.
This is the reason we have full page adverts of semi-naked women to advertise unrelated bullshit in magazines.
This is the reason there are whole portions of the Internet like the "lad's bible".
As a society, we refuse to accept that women are treated as second class citizens. Yes, women may have equal pay (or at least, more equal than a few years ago) and be eligible to apply for most jobs (still some way to go though), but when you look at a woman and see nothing but a pair of tits for you to ogle, you're as much of a victim of rape culture as the woman being beaten by her husband, the woman walking home from a bar alone, the woman being publicly humiliated for believing he wanted more than just sex... the survivors. You've been enslaved by a culture that is taking over, brought up to treat women like disposable income, something closely associated with wealth, a sort of portable dicking machine.
So now, take in the article one more time. Now think about it closely.
Is it right that we are telling innocent women to stay away from certain types of behaviour in case it provokes a reaction in men? Is it right that we are telling those same women to wear less revealing clothing to prevent unwonted advances? Is it right that we are completely failing to understand the impact and implications that certain actions can have on other people? You thought that groping her arse was funny? How about you grope her tits as well, bury your head in them, you've already started now.
Why are we teaching women how to avoid being raped, rather than teaching men not to rape? Whether you look down on women, or fear them, do you really think that touching someone without consent is a good way of making your attraction known? If we let this type of culture take over, it really will take over.
I'm a bloke. I don't expect to understand everything there is to know about women.
I've always been very open about the fact that I consider myself to be a feminist, most people act very surprised, as though males couldn't possibly want equal treatment of the opposite sex.
The fact is, Feminism should be an important part of everyone's lives regardless of gender.
It doesn't mean I hate men because of their oppression of women, it means i respect people regardless of their gender, and believe that everyone should be treated the same. You wouldn't be openly racist, so why should it be okay to be openly sexist?
I fight for gender equality because I used to be that guy. I used to be the guy who watched the adverts and read the articles, I've treated women as eye candy and I've hurt a lot of them along the way. I may never have been physically abusive but not all scars are physical.
I've seen others close to me that have either been victims of rape culture or have participated in it, and I have seen the scale of the damage it can cause.
I hope you remember this rant the next time you look into a woman's eyes. I hope you see her eyes looking back at yours and consider for a fleeting moment that we might one day live in a world where both eyes are seeing the same thing.
Feminism isn't for women, feminism is for everyone; THAT is what feminism means to me.
Probably a good idea to point out from the start that the title is intrinsically linked to the article this post (read, rant) is based on. It is used in an ironic sense and in reference to that article. I say this to avoid the inevitable fuckwits that read the title and then comment before reading the rest.
Okay, uncomfortable pre-emptive threats out of the way, lets get to the point...
College Women: Stop Getting Drunk
Yeah. Read it and let it sink in before we go further.
Yeah. Now because you're a clever person and you are in awe at what you just read, read it all again just so you know you aren't dreaming.
Is this the world we now live in? "Well... if you hadn't have gotten drunk it would never have happened. Now wipe the semen off your face and get back on to the streets you whore".
Yeah, I'm definitely paraphrasing at this stage but the message is ultimately clear; If you get raped while pissed, you shouldn't have gotten pissed, you silly cow. Never mind the fact that someone harmed another human being and left lasting emotional scars that will ruin her life forever, lets just blame the alcohol.
Rape is a societal issue. It is not a victimless crime. It is a very real thing that hundreds of women go through every day; abusive parents and spouses, strangers in seedy bars, people you thought you knew...
It's about time we took a step back to look at the whole picture. The problem here stems from the fact that as a society, we are still a very male orientated culture. There's a reason there's less requirement for a "men's rights" campaign, the same reason a "white pride" march wouldn't necessarily fit modern society (other than EDL, that's okay apparently, for reasons I'm not quite sure about). There are exceptions, Fathers For Justice being a good example, but on the whole, it isn't necessary. Men are not an oppressed minority.
Try this for me. Walk down a city street until you find an advert on a billboard. Better yet, turn on your TV and watch an advert on there. Look at the side of a bus. Look for one containing a half-naked female (usually seen swooning towards the camera as though the very thought of being glued to the side of a bus gives her a tingly feeling).
Now take that woman, and replace her with a man. Don't replace the clothing (by all means replace the swimwear with the male equivalent), just replace the face and body. Now stand, look at your creation, and laugh at how ridiculous it is. Congratulations, you've just proven that male-orientated advertising reduces women to eye candy (and puts needless pressure on other women to match that image, but that's another rant). Any time you couldn't conceivably replace the woman in any advert with a male dressed in an equivalent fashion, you're looking at sexist advertising. You see it everywhere.
Now this advertising plays an important part in something called rape culture. If you don't know what it is, read up on it, its a complex thing that deserves more attention than I can give it.
Take the "Blurred Lines" video as an example (if you haven't seen it, its probably best that you spare yourself the effort). The title itself is a reference to the "two-face" nature of rape itself, the "blurred lines" between what can be conceivably be considered as rape and assault, and what cannot.
The lyrics of the song make numerous references to women "wanting it" when clearly not asking for it, and the lyrical genius makes numerous comparisons between women and animals. People say sexism is a thing of the past, but if 20 years ago women "belonged in the kitchen" and today they belong in a barn, can we really pretend we're making progress?
The artist is also very honest about the fact that the track was written to be "tongue in cheek" and was supposed to be degrading to women all along. Oh, well the fact that you're being ironic (and have spent a few thousand pounds on a glitzy video to showcase that irony) make it perfectly okay. You're off the hook, you lowlife piece of shit.
Rape culture itself can be simply defined as the integration and acceptance of rape in society. This sounds a little strange, and I'm sure no one i know would openly accept rape as the norm within society, but the problem first comes from defining rape.
We like to think of rape as being something that doesn't happen in the area we happen to live. Something that very few people are capable of doing, perhaps it happens in poor areas, or on the dodgy estate with the house that has a sofa in the front garden. In actual fact, the majority of rape doesn't happen in the shadows, it happens out in the open. Rape is such a difficult crime to convict people for, and this is mostly because of the culprits... the majority of rape victims (as with murder) knew the attacker beforehand. The rapists that we hear about on the news are not the kind that I am interested in - they are serial killers who prefer to murder the minds of their victims to leave the rest of their body to suffer torment, they are the lowest of the low. No, the rapists that should worry people most are the ones that you live with, the ones that you drink with, the ones that you have grown up with... the "insiders".
I'm not saying this to scare people, what I'm saying will link back to the article I already posted. We never hear about these rapes because they are generally never reported. Not because the victim is too scared to admit to it, but because they know very little can be done about it.
The image of a rape as being a violent thing isn't usually correct either. Let me put it bluntly:
If a woman says no, and you carry on anyway (whether she tries to defend herself or not), you are a sex offender.
If you decide to "cop a feel" when you see a pretty woman at the bar, you're a sex offender.
If you in any way expose yourself to someone in a way that could be deemed threatening, you are a sex offender.
You see, this is what rape culture is. This is the type of behaviour that isn't seen as negative at all, it's seen as being normal, "boys will be boys"... it disgusts me.
This is the reason that we have articles telling women to stop getting drunk to avoid being raped.
This is the reason we have full page adverts of semi-naked women to advertise unrelated bullshit in magazines.
This is the reason there are whole portions of the Internet like the "lad's bible".
As a society, we refuse to accept that women are treated as second class citizens. Yes, women may have equal pay (or at least, more equal than a few years ago) and be eligible to apply for most jobs (still some way to go though), but when you look at a woman and see nothing but a pair of tits for you to ogle, you're as much of a victim of rape culture as the woman being beaten by her husband, the woman walking home from a bar alone, the woman being publicly humiliated for believing he wanted more than just sex... the survivors. You've been enslaved by a culture that is taking over, brought up to treat women like disposable income, something closely associated with wealth, a sort of portable dicking machine.
So now, take in the article one more time. Now think about it closely.
Is it right that we are telling innocent women to stay away from certain types of behaviour in case it provokes a reaction in men? Is it right that we are telling those same women to wear less revealing clothing to prevent unwonted advances? Is it right that we are completely failing to understand the impact and implications that certain actions can have on other people? You thought that groping her arse was funny? How about you grope her tits as well, bury your head in them, you've already started now.
Why are we teaching women how to avoid being raped, rather than teaching men not to rape? Whether you look down on women, or fear them, do you really think that touching someone without consent is a good way of making your attraction known? If we let this type of culture take over, it really will take over.
I'm a bloke. I don't expect to understand everything there is to know about women.
I've always been very open about the fact that I consider myself to be a feminist, most people act very surprised, as though males couldn't possibly want equal treatment of the opposite sex.
The fact is, Feminism should be an important part of everyone's lives regardless of gender.
It doesn't mean I hate men because of their oppression of women, it means i respect people regardless of their gender, and believe that everyone should be treated the same. You wouldn't be openly racist, so why should it be okay to be openly sexist?
I fight for gender equality because I used to be that guy. I used to be the guy who watched the adverts and read the articles, I've treated women as eye candy and I've hurt a lot of them along the way. I may never have been physically abusive but not all scars are physical.
I've seen others close to me that have either been victims of rape culture or have participated in it, and I have seen the scale of the damage it can cause.
I hope you remember this rant the next time you look into a woman's eyes. I hope you see her eyes looking back at yours and consider for a fleeting moment that we might one day live in a world where both eyes are seeing the same thing.
Feminism isn't for women, feminism is for everyone; THAT is what feminism means to me.
Thursday 17 October 2013
Introduction
This blog isn't for you. This is all for me.
Every time i encounter something shitty, I will post about it here. Every time I get pissed off for no good reason, that goes on here too. And when I have a bad day and feel like breaking someone's nose? Yeah.
A lot of things piss me off, and if you follow this blog, you'll soon find that out.
Tatty bye x
Every time i encounter something shitty, I will post about it here. Every time I get pissed off for no good reason, that goes on here too. And when I have a bad day and feel like breaking someone's nose? Yeah.
A lot of things piss me off, and if you follow this blog, you'll soon find that out.
Tatty bye x
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